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Hookem’s MTG Arena Adventure

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  • Hookem’s MTG Arena Adventure

    This is mostly for Pollaski and DS to make fun of me and provide tips where appropriate.

    So I’ve casually played MTG in the past, went to a handful of FNM’s and played some table top way back in the day, but I’m far from knowledgeable about it. Still, I like the game well enough and Arena gives me a chance to play it without really putting forth any effort.

    Chapter 1: The tutorial

    The voice acting in this game is hilarious. Everything is way over the top and you can really tell that absolutely no thought went into these characters. Does a decent job of explaining the game, though. Cards are displayed well, very easy to read, interface is intuitive, I like what I see so far.

    Chapter 2: More bots

    So this is where I hit my first road block. After completing the tutorial, the game has you complete what’s essentially an extended tutorial by doing a challenge with a deck based on each color. I chose red because I’m an alpha male. First few matches went by fairly smoothly, with me curb stomping the shitty AI by throwing creatures at them and burning them with reckless abandon. That is, until I ran into a white planeswalker dude that I’ve seen before but can’t remember the name of. We’ll call him Lionface.

    Lionface’s AI seems to be set up to execute the exact opposite strategy of what I do. He plays white, which means he’s a bitch by default, and seemingly everything he does gives him a shit load of life. I proceed to bash my face against the keyboard in frustration trying to kill him before losing my first match. He had 42 life. I still don’t know what happened, but I’m embarrassed.

    Round two with Lionface goes a lot better, but he still manages to kill me because he’s a bitch and he puts pacifism on seemingly every creature I throw out. I have no idea why anybody chooses to play the game this way, or if they do in real life, but I decide that he’s too much of a ho for me to let this stand. My next step is to do what I swore I never would: read the tutorial bullshit in between matches that tells me how to actually play the game.

    Round three, I make Lionface my bitch. Turns out, instant’s aren’t supposed to be played whenever you feel like because you want to get the match over with quickly, and this tutorial is structured around teaching you that. He kneels before me and let’s out a whimper as I move on to my first actual challenge, a real human player.

    Chapter 3: BBC

    Turns out black is really good at looking dead as fuck and then roaring back for a landslide victory. I’m still trying to figure out some of these mechanics, but holy shit was that annoying. Long story short, I beat this dude down to like 5 life and seemed to be completely in control before lifelink and deathtouch raped my face. I was left defenseless with no cards as he drained my life away with a small pack of shitty creatures. This game taught me that maybe I should implement some kind of actual strategy instead of just retardedly bashing my opponent with things that do damage.

    More to come later.
    Last edited by tOSUfanboi2; 06-22-2020, 02:35 PM.

  • #2
    If you are looking for a deck to get you fast easy wins, red aggro. It feels kind of cheap using it, and it in no way makes you more skilled in the game...but if you are looking to get wins so you can build the card collection, its there for you.

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    • #3
      Originally posted by JTrain View Post
      If you are looking for a deck to get you fast easy wins, red aggro. It feels kind of cheap using it, and it in no way makes you more skilled in the game...but if you are looking to get wins so you can build the card collection, its there for you.
      I’m just fucking around trying to learn how the game works, really. It’s fun.

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      • #4
        Originally posted by tOSUfanboi2 View Post

        I’m just fucking around trying to learn how the game works, really. It’s fun.
        Also keep in mind, I haven't played in at least 5 months, so im probably way behind on the meta in the game. I just know there are red aggro decks that can get you wins within a few rounds at a ridiculous clip. I used it to build the collection. That said, im pretty shit outside of that

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        • #5
          Originally posted by JTrain View Post

          Also keep in mind, I haven't played in at least 5 months, so im probably way behind on the meta in the game. I just know there are red aggro decks that can get you wins within a few rounds at a ridiculous clip. I used it to build the collection. That said, im pretty shit outside of that

          I’ve never played the game more than casually and I doubt that’ll change, it’s fun and all, but the cost factor has always kept me from getting heavily involved. I know if I get in too deep with it I’ll end up spending money, likely more than I should, and that’s not a road I want to go down.

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          • #6
            Cant believe i'm only now seeing thisthtread .

            Yeah, one of the big keys to magic is knowing the best time to play instants. Timing can literally be the difference between winning and losing.

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            • #7
              So I’ve made a lot of progress in the world of MTG since this thread started, and here are my impressions so far:

              1.) Temur reclamation can go fuck itself. So boring to play against and way too powerful.

              2.) Smashing people with big ass monsters with my mono green deck is my preferred way to play.

              3.) The people who play at my local store are actually really cool. I was worried it would be weird ass people, but it’s really just normal guys between the ages of 30-40.

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              • #8
                Originally posted by tOSUfanboi2 View Post
                So I’ve made a lot of progress in the world of MTG since this thread started, and here are my impressions so far:

                1.) Temur reclamation can go fuck itself. So boring to play against and way too powerful.

                2.) Smashing people with big ass monsters with my mono green deck is my preferred way to play.

                3.) The people who play at my local store are actually really cool. I was worried it would be weird ass people, but it’s really just normal guys between the ages of 30-40.
                Temur's my jam (My fave commander is Animar), but yeah, I can't stand reclamation. I even had the fun version that won with Expansion/Explosion and it was still pretty meh. The moment I saw Wilderness reclamation I was like "this card is stupid", and everyone else was like "nah, its fine" and I'm like "Does blue not exist in your world?"

                Monogreen stompy is fun, but I generally like a bit of blue or red in there to really spice things up (again, my inner Temur lover). Honestly, if you gave me a deck and said "just cast Hydroid Krasis over and over" I'd be content.

                Yeah, the LGS stores tend to be pretty cool most the time. Obviously you'll get a decent share of people who are taking a ride on the spectrum highway, but they're the fun ones to beat.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by Pollaski View Post

                  Temur's my jam (My fave commander is Animar), but yeah, I can't stand reclamation. I even had the fun version that won with Expansion/Explosion and it was still pretty meh. The moment I saw Wilderness reclamation I was like "this card is stupid", and everyone else was like "nah, its fine" and I'm like "Does blue not exist in your world?"

                  Monogreen stompy is fun, but I generally like a bit of blue or red in there to really spice things up (again, my inner Temur lover). Honestly, if you gave me a deck and said "just cast Hydroid Krasis over and over" I'd be content.

                  Yeah, the LGS stores tend to be pretty cool most the time. Obviously you'll get a decent share of people who are taking a ride on the spectrum highway, but they're the fun ones to beat.
                  You made me laugh my ass off like a crazy person in the line at the grocery store with this line. Thanks for that.

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by tOSUfanboi2 View Post

                    You made me laugh my ass off like a crazy person in the line at the grocery store with this line. Thanks for that.
                    Have you ever met an honest to god otherkin? Because I did once at an lgs down south. Ears, tail, mannerisms. Everything but an actual fursuit.

                    Poor girl was borrowing her boyfriends GAAIV deck and had no godamn clue what she was getting into.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Pollaski View Post

                      Have you ever met an honest to god otherkin? Because I did once at an lgs down south. Ears, tail, mannerisms. Everything but an actual fursuit.

                      Poor girl was borrowing her boyfriends GAAIV deck and had no godamn clue what she was getting into.
                      Can’t say I have man, I try and stay away from people like that.

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